As Witches, we are called to be magickal beings and to live a life of magick. However, there is a deeper work that must be pursued. In order to live as fully manifest magickal beings, we must also strive for wholeness and balance in all areas of life. By working toward this goal, a transformation can occur, not only within ourselves but in the world around us. My recent personal studies have led me into some deep waters of introspection, and I discovered some things about magickal integration and wholeness, particularly in the areas of work and sexuality. For a very long time, I considered work and sexuality to be two aspects of my life that were not directly influenced by my magickal path. I finally realized that nothing in my life is untouched by magick, and that it is possible to be completely surrounded by magick in every area of life. This is true magickal wholeness.
I used to say that I liked to keep my “work life” and my “real life” separate. My “work life” refers to my day job, where I go to work during the day as a caregiver, and my “real life” as a Witch and my duties as teacher, healing practitioner and high priest. For years I fought tooth and nail to keep these two aspects of my life totally separate and unaffected by the other. Over time I began to realize just how magickal my work can be at times. It is not a separate entity from my magickal self. I work in a day program that provides services for developmentally-disabled adults, and when I first started with my current company, I truly hated it. “Hate” is not a word I like to use, but in this instance it is fully accurate. Working conditions were very chaotic and stress-filled at that time, even for a meditation teacher like me. There were many days I wanted to just quit and walk out. I did some major spellwork for conditions to change, and eventually they did. My work environment is now peaceful, productive and rewarding, but it didn‘t happen overnight. No matter how stressful your job is, there are subtle ways to bring magick into the workplace. Placing a few amethyst or rose quartz crystals around the office or on your desk can help neutralize harmful energies and invite peace. If this isn’t possible where you work, carry these crystals in your pocket. Playing some soft, relaxing instrumental music at various times during the day can help create a peaceful atmosphere. Light a scented candle and place it on a windowsill or someplace where it won‘t be knocked over. Begin visualizing your work conditions the way you would like them to be, and truly believe it will happen. Another thing to consider is that while at our jobs, we are presented with many opportunities for inner growth. How we interact with others, how we adapt to change (something I still struggle with), and how we respond to certain behaviors and attitudes are all things that we can work to improve upon while at the workplace. These things can reveal to us our strengths and weaknesses on a social, interpersonal level. If you are “out” as a Witch, the workplace is an opportunity to live by example, showing those around you that witches are not scary and unapproachable, that we are intelligent people just like them, even though our beliefs and lifestyle may be different.
My sexuality was another aspect of my life that for a long time, I considered to be separate from my magickal identity. I began to notice, however, that the deities and guides that I work with in my rituals and spells seemed to require every aspect of my being, even my sexuality, to be present energetically in the ritual. I am a gay man, and the deities I work with most often are Cerridwen and Cernunnos, both of whom are of Celtic origin. My relationship with the Horned God Cernunnos has taught me many things about gay male mysticism, in a magickal context. I believe Cernunnos to be a bisexual deity. Some say he is the Celtic version of the Greek God Pan, about whom some of the old lore tells us how he seduced the shepherds in the fields, driving them mad with desire. He had two male companions, always pictured with erect phalluses. Cernunnos is a balance of masculine and feminine energies, a symbolic representation of the relationship between the Goddess and the God. In one hand Cernunnos holds a torc, an open-ended piece of jewelry worn around the neck, usually by men. In the other hand he holds a serpent, a phallic symbol. These are two male-oriented objects that can be joined together in a symbolic act of sexual union. Those who are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender have within their being this polarity of masculine and feminine energy. It is interesting to note that when we are conceived, we all begin as female, but as chromosomes begin to fall into place, that is when we develop further as male, female or transgender. As the chant goes, “We All Come From The Goddess”. My magickal identity does not exist separately from my sexuality-in many ways it is enhanced by it.